. things to keep in mind in 2013 .

by Amanda @ .running with spoons. on December 31, 2012

Happy New Year’s Eve, friends!

Have you made your resolutions? Planned out your evening? Put that gorgeous outfit together? I haven’t; and no, it’s not because I’m being lazy and procrastinating. To be honest, I find all the hype surrounding New Year’s a little exhausting. As much as I love the idea of a fresh start, I also realize that I’m not going to wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly feel like a brand new person - I’ll still be the same old me, have the same old vices, and be dealing with the same old things. That’s life.

Goofball

That’s not to say that I don’t have any goals or aspirations for the coming year – I certainly do – but the whole concept of New Year’s resolutions just rubs me the wrong way. I feel as though the pressure to change and the expectation of becoming a “brand new person” in the New Year just sets people up for failure and leads to disappointment. Vices and maladaptive mindsets won’t disappear just because we start signing the date with a 13 instead of a 12 – they’ll be just as present and require just as much work next year as they did this past one. Life won’t magically become all sunshine and rainbows as soon as the clock strikes midnight, either, yet there seems to be this subconscious expectation that that’s exactly what’s going to happen, followed by the inevitable disappointment when it doesn’t happen. I’m all for being optimistic, but not to the point of being unrealistic.

Bah! I know I’m probably coming off as a little harsh, but that’s definitely not my intention – I really do love the hopeful attitude that’s associated with New Year’s, I could just deal without the not-so-subtle ‘suggestion’ that we need to become a whole new person… I mean, what’s wrong with the person we already are? Instead of putting all our efforts into change, why can’t we work more on acceptance? We seem to be under the impression that we’ll only be happy if/when we reach our goals, so… we can’t be happy with where we are and who we are now? As if accepting ourselves at any given moment somehow suggests that we’ll be throwing our dreams and aspirations out the window and happily adopting the life of a lump on the log? Nonsense.

Exactly Who

That being said, I won’t be making any resolutions for this upcoming year, but I will continue working on the areas of my life that I think could use some improvement while keeping in mind that…

  • I’ll never be perfect.
  • Over-thinking will get me nowhere.
  • Bad days are inevitable and unavoidable.
  • Most things are beyond my control.
  • I have a huge sweet tooth.
  • Not everyone will like me.
  • Zits happen.
  • Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
  • Struggling does not result in failure.
  • Small things make big differences.

2013 will be a year of successes and failures, laughter and tears, good days and bad days – just like any other. There is a year-long project that I’ll be working on for the next 12 months, but I’ll share the details on that in tomorrow’s post. For now, I hope you guys enjoy your last day of 2012 and have a great time if you’re celebrating tonight. I don’t have anything crazy planned – probably just going out to a movie and checking out the fireworks if I’m not feeling too beat.

See you guys next year!

Cheers!

. – . – . – .

Have you made any resolutions for 2013?
Do you think New Year’s is a bit overhyped?
Is there anything you’d like to keep in mind as you live out the next year?

{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Tiff (@LoveSweatBeers) December 31, 2012 at 7:19 am

Alright Mrs. Scrooge. haha Only joking – I totally hear ya!
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2 Khushboo December 31, 2012 at 7:24 am

Not to sound like a grinch but I definitely think that NYE is overhyped! It’s just another night after all and nothing except the calendar date is going to change at midnight! I am usually a fan of NYE resolutions but rather than making any specific ones this year, I have made one single resolution for 2013: step out of my comfort zone. I am a creature of habit and while I do love routine, I want to challenge myself to explore the unfamiliar :)!

Have a wonderful evening…what movie you seeing?
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3 Amanda @ .running with spoons. December 31, 2012 at 11:50 am

I love that resolution, and I may have already mentioned that it’s probably something I could do myself as well ;) We’ll be going to see Silver Linings Playbook, I think… either that or Django.

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4 Nicky December 31, 2012 at 7:24 am

You took the words right out of my mouth!!! I totally don’t get resolutions and I know that waking up tomorrow I will still be me, still have the same problems etc and that is definitely not going to change over night and I am definitely not going to become a whole new person!
I do believe in making little goals for ourselves though, and I think it’s good for people to strive to achieve things and feel good about what they’ve achieved. But I think setting yourself up to fail is the wrong way to go about it. I make goals throughout the year when I feel like they are needed and they are always something that are achievable or I change them slightly if I feel I can’t achieve them. I can overthink things and beat myself up easily if I don’t achieve big things and things don’t go my way because I’m a perfectionist and that would not be healthy for me. So yeah, I’ll make goals for the new year, but I’ll be making goals throughout the year anyway so the whole ‘new year, new me’ means nothing! I’m just continuing to work out what works for me and learning to accept myself :)
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5 Lucie@FitSwissChick December 31, 2012 at 7:33 am

I always think that there is way too big of a hype over that change of the year. I totally agree with you – I will not be a different person when I wake up tomorrow. Since this year was a pretty good one for me, my resolution is to stay on that track and improve some areas – and that can last 12 months if needed. And mostly, my goals just pop up at any time and not exactly right at the end of the year. btw, you look beautiful on that picture. Have a great night!!
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6 Hannah @ CleanEatingVeggieGirl December 31, 2012 at 7:44 am

Amen to that! I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. While they certainly work for some people (my boyfriend stop using tobacco cold turkey last new years and has yet to use it since), I have never found them to be super helpful for me. I actually get rather annoyed when people make “diet” resolutions and workout resolutions for the new year. I am a big believer in the importance of making lifestyle changes, as opposed to going on diets. To me, New Year’s really just promotes unhealthy ways of “getting healthy,” when it actuality making lifestyle changes would likely be much more successful.
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7 Amanda @ .running with spoons. December 31, 2012 at 11:56 am

That’s really amazing about your boyfriend giving up tobacco cold turkey! Huge congrats to him :D

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8 Danielle @ Clean Food Creative Fitness December 31, 2012 at 7:47 am

I am totally in love with this post! I am a huge fan of goal setting however I think it is totally pointless to wait until New Year’s Day to start trying to achieve that goal. I love what you said too about us being fine just the way we are!
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9 Sam @ Better With Sprinkles December 31, 2012 at 8:01 am

Love this! I always feel pressured to try to completely overhaul my life and personality in January, when really, there’s absolutely no reason to do so. Yes, there are things I can work on, but a complete overhaul isn’t necessary in the slightest.

And I don’t see the point in New Years Resolutions – I can barely remember the ones I made last January! I’d rather evaluate and see what I want to do/work on each month. I love your list too – important things to keep in mind when trying to make goals or resolutions.
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10 Brittany December 31, 2012 at 8:04 am

I think you hit it spot on. To be honest NYE annoys me at times. I hate the people that claim they want to change and it lasts a month or two and they are done. Spcifically I hate the people that take up the classes I go to EVERY week of the year (not just Jan-FEB) and then leave around March. Get out of here..UGH.
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11 Brittany December 31, 2012 at 8:04 am

Classes at the gym..oops. HA
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12 whiness December 31, 2012 at 9:25 am

” I’ll still be the same old me, have the same old vices, and be dealing with the same old things. That’s life.”
You wrote something really important. Many people think that the beginning a new year is like a new life. It’s not. But it may be (and it should be) an impulse to change something, to make amends. I think that’s why New Year’s Eve is so important.

This year was extremely difficult for me. I had many troubles and I was sad many months. But there were some positives. I’ve been to Marilyn Manson’s concert for the first time, I met my best friend.
I want next year to be much better. Of course, I made many resolutions. Quite simple ones. Smile. Try your best to make your life better. Study more. Pass the CAE exam. Save some money. Eat healthy. Relax. Live healthy. Write more.
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13 Amanda @ .running with spoons. December 31, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I hope that 2013 will be an amazing year for you, love <3 All of your resolutions are great things to keep aspire to :)

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14 Alison December 31, 2012 at 9:38 am

Love this! I never do New Year’s resolutions either. I think LIFE in general is an opportunity to renew ourselves and improve.

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15 Olivia @ Life As Liv December 31, 2012 at 9:59 am

You nailed it on the head. It’s a dangerous balance between being hopeful and putting to much pressure on yourself. I could have written your list of things that won’t change word for word. Love this whole post, and love your honesty. You write what everyone is thinking but doesn’t want to say. :)
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16 Hayley @ Running on Pumpkin December 31, 2012 at 10:21 am

Agree with you about becoming a “brand new person” in the new year…I like who I am now and don’t really agree with that mindset of becoming a new person in 2013. Sure, it’s great to have goals to work towards but they shouldn’t make you feel like you are inadequate now. Your point on acceptance is exactly true… love it girl. Once again, you read my mind :)

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17 Kat December 31, 2012 at 10:25 am

I sure did miss your wisdom while I was away :)
I literally just wrote up my post about how I feel on resolutions, I’m right there with you girl. I don’t believe in making yourself into a new person, Im more of the work on who you are now kinda girl. And trust me, there is plenty of work there! lol
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18 Miss Polkadot December 31, 2012 at 10:58 am

Yes to all of that! Following along with all of your great posts during the last month what else than a perfect last post of the year would I have expected :D?!

New Year’s Eve definitely is way overrated in my opinion. Why is there all the pressure? It’s just like any other day of the year only that it happens to be the last one because somebody decided that 365 days were enough :). That being said I haven’t made any real resolutions but am rather striving to set some goals at the beginning of each month.

Hope you’re enjoying New Year’s Eve – mine’s going to be calm as well. Which movie did you think about watching?
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19 Amanda @ .running with spoons. December 31, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Setting smaller goals whenever you notice the need comes up is definitely a great way to go about it :) And we were thinking of going out to watch either Silver Linings Playbook or Django.

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20 Ashley @ AlmostVegGirlie December 31, 2012 at 11:22 am

Totally agreed! I love NYE just for the exciting feel but I never make resolutions. I definitely have goals for myself that I keep in mind all year long but having the pressure of a resolution hanging over my head makes me too stressed out. For 2013, I do want to stop counting calories as it’s become a really bad habit for me but I’m not going to beat myself up about it if I slip up sometimes!
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21 Lisa @ Lisa the Vegetarian December 31, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I love the quote in that picture. It’s a great reminder to all of us to appreciate who we are and what we have right now. It seems like so often we only think about the future and what we can improve.

Happy new year!
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22 Amanda @ .running with spoons. December 31, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Happy New Year to you as well!

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23 Kristi @ Sweetly Fit December 31, 2012 at 12:09 pm

It seems like a lot of us are going the “no resolutions” route…I haven’t actually put much thought into but it, but I strive every day to reach my goals, so I really don’t need a new year to change the way I do things. Either way, I think 2013 is going to be filled with lots of good things. :D
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24 Liz (formerly VeggieGirl) December 31, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Here’s to another great year, to keep moving forward, keep learning from mistakes and making great memories. Cheers, Amanda!

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25 Brittany @ Delights and Delectables December 31, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I really love this post! I’m not big on NY resolutions either. However, I love to set goals that I want to accomplish for the new year. I love something to work towards. One of my goals this next year is to entertain more at my house! Simple things like that… :)
Happy New Year friend!!
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26 Courtney December 31, 2012 at 12:44 pm

GREAT post! I totally agree with you about New Year’s. Even so, hope yours is fun! :)
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27 Kate December 31, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Oh, I always thought NYE was an excuse to throw parties! I can get behind that! Lol but in all seriousness, yeah, some people overreact about it. I’m seeing some posts on facebook that are like “OMG 2012 sucked! 2013 is going to be the BEST YEAR EVER!” and I’m like….er….well, you can try to make it as good as possible but shit happens that you can’t control. Although I have to say this year I’m seeing a lot of facebook/twitter posts that are snarkily hating on everyone making resolutions and that’s not fair either. I think some people do unfortunately see it as a time to completely change themselves, but I kind of see it as a good checkpoint for the things about myself I’m currently working on. – acceptance is one of them, yes, but I won’t settle for less than my best self, and I’m just not my best self right now. I still I want to be me, there’s just certain things about me that I want to be better I guess!

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28 Alexandra December 31, 2012 at 1:28 pm

THIS. IS. AMAZING. I’m not one for resolutions either–I absolutely adore your idea of “things to keep in mind.” Your list is fabulous as well, I may have to cut, paste, and print that bad boy to hang on my mirror. You rock girl :)
I hope you have a blessed and beautiful NYE my friend, here’s to an amazing 2013! <3
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29 Rachel December 31, 2012 at 1:56 pm

totally agree with allllll of this. I never got into the resolutions either.. I feel it’s because one I tell myself not to do something that’s what I want to do and constantly thinking about lol and I’m totally not gonna like writing 2013, 2012 just seemed to flow ;) haha Happy new years eve :D
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30 Amanda @ .running with spoons. December 31, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Oh I know I’m going to be writing 2012 for at least the first month of 2013. But yeah, twenty-twelve sounds so much better than twenty-thirteen… but what can you do :D

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31 Alex @ therunwithin December 31, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I feel like I have already talked to you about this but I really like this post. We are who we are and not one day will change that. I think a better way for me to approach a new year is with intentions, things I want to set my mind to working on. Not achieving but working on.
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32 Katie @ KatieEnPursuit December 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Yes, Yes, Yes for your take on NYE. If you would’ve made me read this 10 years ago I would’ve disagreed, but as I grow older I realize we have to change things when they need changing & not rely on the “someday” mentality. Having a forward positive momentum is the only way things will change. And some things are not meant to. Happy New Year!
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33 Caitlin December 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I love this post for so many reasons, Amanda, but mostly because I think it’s incredibly true and I wish more people felt the same. Thank you for writing it, and I hope you have a wonderful NYE. I also hope that 2013 is the best year to date for you :)
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34 Gina @ Health, Love, and Chocolate December 31, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I definitely agree that New Year’s is seriously over-hyped. All the negative things in our lives will still be there on January 1st and will still need to be addressed, but the way I see it all the amazing positive things will still be there as well. I just think of it as another year of my life to make the most of. :-) I don’t have much planned either, just enjoying a quiet dinner out with my parents. Regardless of our less than crazy plans though, have a great night!
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35 Angela December 31, 2012 at 7:21 pm

For the new year I definitely want to become a more patient and empathetic person – I want to always keep in mind that, when faced with people I am not too fond of, I won’t be able to change other people, but I can always change the way I react/respond to other peoples’ comments or behavior.

So corny! But I was really inspired just now after watching 50/50. Such an inspirational movie!

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36 Amanda @ .running with spoons. January 1, 2013 at 7:54 am

Not corny at all! I think that’s a wonderful thing to work on :)

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37 Chelsie S December 31, 2012 at 7:36 pm

You know I hate holidays, and you know why I hate holidays. NYE is no different. It’s too overwhelming for me to look that far forward, or that far back for that matter. I like to be in my little cocoon of today — what can I do now to make my next minute better. It’s great to have visions of how you’d like things to be, but life is constantly changing, so why try to pin something down that is meant to be fleeting?
You’ve got the right idea about it, I back you entirely.
That being said, I hope that you take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, not only through the next year, but the year following, and the one after that and all the ones following that one as well. xo

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38 Megan @ runningonjava December 31, 2012 at 8:09 pm

I couldn’t agree more with your resolutions. 2013 will be all about making myself happy and living in the current moment. I let stress dominate way too much in 2012. Hope you have a great NYE :)
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39 Irina @ Chocolatea Time December 31, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Once again, a perfectly written post. Everything you said is so accurate, it’s almost scary how true it is. While I love the idea of a “clean slate” on January 1st (it’s the start of the entire YEAR, after all!), I don’t think we should go all out only to set ourselves up for failure. Why not set daily, weekly, monthly goals and resolutions for ourselves? Why not create two or three specific and realistic intentions for the year ahead and concentrate on them? Tonight, I’m celebrating with my family and close friends. I skipped out on the wild party scene for the first time in years and am quite happy with the decision.

Cheers to a great 2013…Happy New Year, Amanda!!! <3
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40 Alex December 31, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Resolutions….mmmm….well, the only resolution I’ve made would probably be to just continue leading a healthy-but-not-too-healthy lifestyle. If that makes any sense at all :)
I COMPLETELY understand how you feel about New Years; it’s DEFINITELY over hyped. I feel like every year people resolve to be healthier, eat healthier, exercise more, lose weight, etc.
I used to do that and ended up in a not so great place. Honestly, I believe that instead of trying to improve myself, I should really just live.
And that would most definitely include eating food, good and bad :)
Happy New Year!!
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41 Amanda @ .running with spoons. January 1, 2013 at 7:56 am

Healthy-but-not-too-healthy makes perfect sense :) Happy New Year to you as well!

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42 Jessie January 1, 2013 at 2:59 am

yes, yes, yes to this whole post!!! You nailed everything COMPLETELY! Gosh girl, I just love your posts every.single.day <3

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43 Shreya @ rushofendorphins January 1, 2013 at 6:14 am

I totally agree girl. I never make resolutions because I know I won’t be sticking to/be interested in one thing. Minds change, people change, we just have to go with the flow.

Happy new year love – here’s to many more beautiful photos and inspirational posts on Spoons!
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44 Aimee January 1, 2013 at 7:47 am

Happy 2013 Amanda- I love your outlook on the New Year – I know 2013 is going to be a fabulous year for you!!

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45 Rachel @ Eat, Learn, Discover! January 1, 2013 at 2:54 pm

“Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.” I really need to work on this one as well.

Happy New year, love!

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46 Whitney January 6, 2013 at 11:05 am

I thought I’d share this quote with you: “A delay is not a denial.” I thought it would go with your ‘Struggling does not result in failure.’ :)

I agree with you about the hype about NYE. Somehow I am always let down. I hope you had a great New Years though! (I know I am reading this a couple days late!)

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