Happy Wednesday, friends!
I’m sitting out this week’s WIAW party in favour of a slightly more personal post (read: I haven’t even had the time to think about food, much less photograph it), so I’m sorry if you came here expecting pictures of delicious eats.
But let me explain!
A couple of days ago, I got hit with some news — news that left me scatterbrained and sleep-deprived. J is coming to visit me… today. In fact, he may already be here by the time you read this post. It’s good news — fantastic news — but it’s news for which I definitely wasn’t prepared.
I like being prepared. I like having a general idea of how my day/week/month is going to pan out. I like being ready for things so I can accommodate my routine accordingly. I can handle small unforeseen circumstances that pop up, but this? Not that small, and therefore, not that easy to handle.
You’re looking at me like I’m crazy… My guy, who I haven’t seen in over 4 months, surprises me with a visit, and my first reaction when he told me was one of panic and irritation rather than joy. Panic and irritation. Panic over whether or not I was going to be able to get ready in time; irritation over the fact that he didn’t tell me sooner and give me more time to adjust to the changes that I’d have to make to my routine. Never mind that the poor guy had to bend over backwards to be able to get away and spend a week with me — I was upset that it threw a wrench into my regular routine. I mean, how messed up is that?
Answer: very… and I can see that now that I’ve had a bit more time to process everything, but that’s what it took — time. Well, time and a few days of running around like a headless chicken, trying to get ahead with school, work, and blogging so that I wouldn’t have to worry about those things as much when J was here. I’m clearly a winner when it comes to the whole spontaneity thing 🙄 But I’m getting better (I think)! It just takes a little more work when it comes to the bigger things.
So that’s that. I’ll be picking J up from the airport in a couple of hours, and he’ll be staying with me until next Wednesday. I managed to get most of my posts written up over the past couple of days, so I won’t be disappearing on you guys like I did the last time he was here. I can’t promise that I’ll be as active around the blog world for the next week or so, but I have a feeling you’ll forgive me for that one 😉
Would you say you’re a spontaneous person?
How do you deal with big changes to your plans/routine?
I am not looking at you like you are crazy… I ENTIRELY relate.
Whether it is a guest coming or even if I was going on some incredible vacation… it stresses me out. But like you, I know it is messed up and so I just pull up my big girl pants and tell myself to simmer down. It gets easier with practice,
Have fun!!
Oh my gosh- I’m so not judging you. I would be the EXACT same way. I’m so anal about my routine. I get upset if my breakfast, workout or work day goes unplanned. I know- crazy. Seriously though- I like to know what’s going on, what my schedule is and sponteanity is something I haven’t known since I was 17 or 18 years old. I can’t seem to conquer this area either and I would be FREAKING OUT if I was you. I think that’s the one thing holding me back from dating is that I like “my space” and “my routine”. I haven’t given myself to someone in a LONG time that way, and seeing someone daily or even a few times a week seems impossible with my busy schedule, that I happen to love. I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you, and it’s not messed up- it’s a quality you’re an introvert my dear! We like to be prepared and we like order. We like people, but we like small doses and in prepared amounts:) Trust me- I totally get it:)
I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving Amanda and try to enjoy your special time!:) GOOD LUCK!!:)<3
I’m happy to hear you get to see J this week! Did you tell him you blog yet or are you leaving it on the DL? I really hope you enjoy plenty of time together this week and I’m glad you just took a little bit of time to realize it’s freaking awesome he’s coming to see you whether or not it was a complete surprise. Guys don’t understand the things woman have to do to prepare 😉
He knows about Spoons, but it totally weirds me out when I think about him reading it 😆 Hope you’re doing well, girlie! Miss talking to you!
Have an awesome time with your guy!
We need to catch up soon. I feel like we haven’t talked in far too long!
<3
I know! I need to know what’s going on in your life since you disappeared from the blog world 😛 Texting you today!
Oh my gosh, HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH J!!!! I’m not great with spontaneity either and would be freaking out and cleaning and having spaz attacks if I were in your shoes as well. I need structure and a plan and a schedule in my life or I get all flustered and take it out on others. I’m so much fun 😉 Anyways, I totally understand where you’re coming from and can’t wait for an update when you return to the blogosphere!
I would have the exact same reaction as you. I’m a total planner and need to have everything just so but deep down, I know it’s completely ridiculous. I think it’s part of being a control freak or something but realizing it’s a problem is the first step…?
I hope you are able to relax and have a great time with your man! I think those of us in the states will be in a food coma for the next few days so it’s not the worst time to disappear if you need to. 😉
I’m so not spontaneous and I can so understand why you felt that irritation! Whenever I have to change my plans, whether surrounding food or surrounding people or at work, I get so frustrated. I can’t stand not being able to control every situation. I’m glad you’re taking a step back to recognize the source of the irritation because that’s step 1 in just enjoying time with your guy!
Surprises can be very annoying! I’m more like your guy as far as spontaneity goes. Enjoy your time with him 🙂
Have a great time with J!
Hope you have a wonderful time!
I know how you feel with the irritation. Sometimes even fun great things, when unplanned, can be a little disheveling for us planners. I just try my best to go with the flow and tell myself…. I WILL have a good time and THIS is a great thing. You’re going to enjoy yourself so much once he gets here, and any irritation will be a distant memory. Have a blast!
Hahah this sounds exactly like something I would do. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! I mean…omg so excited! haha have so much fun with the bf!! 🙂
I feel you girl ,though I am so HAPPY for you to spend days with your guy!!
I was terrible when it came to spontaneity and completely missed out on just LOVE the fact that life sometimes throws good things on me. Also, I realized that my friends backed out with spontaneous plans cause they thought they would irritate me. So sad. Surprises – and I mean positive ones – are wonderful. I learned that and I am a LOT better with being spontaneous – and I love it! Especially, since people around me are so much more relaxed around me and happy because they know they can visit me anytime they want, or invite me over and I am in. Spontaneously. The best events, parties, experiences and get togethers are the ones that are not planned.
Enjoy it. Stop thinking. LIVE the moment, the world is still here when you’re back – and me in the first row 🙂
Thanks so much, love. You’re like the big sister I never had <3 <3
I totally get it! I am a creature of habit and as spontaneous as I can be sometimes, someone throwing a wrench (even a good wrench) can wreak some havoc. I was always independent but especially after my divorce, I have become a bit more set in my ways, a bit more independent and a bit more comfortable with my routine that I have to remind myself to welcome those spontaneous changes another person brings into my life. Blogging and everything else can wait – enjoy your time this weekend!
I actually completely understand what you mean. I always feel bad when Aaron surprises me with something and I don’t take it well. It’s just my personality, but time fixes it! Have A FREAKIN BLAST WITH J!!! I can’t wait to hear about it 🙂 Enjoy all the moments, and don’t worry about us. We’ll still be here 😉
Eee! That’s awesome news and I hope you and J will have an amazing time!
But yes, I totally understand your irritation. I always always always have to be prepared and need an advance notice of at least (!) a week any visitors. I blame living on my own and not having to adjust to anybody else’s schedule or habits on the regular. Just like you even spontaneous visits from my last boyfriend caused me panic of not being prepared enough.
Have a great week with your boy!
You’re right — living alone has a LOT to do with it. It’s hard to suddenly have to deal with someone else’s schedule when you’re so used to being able to do whatever you want!
I do not initially respond well to changes to my expectations either. I’m learning to not say ANYTHING when a proposed alteration is suggested. I am learning to say, “Oh that sounds interesting. Let me think about it.” Then I take time… just like you said. After an hour or 2 (or longer for big things) the big picture comes around, and I’m normally more than enthusiastic for the change in plans. So I’m not the best person to surprise, but that’s okay! I have other lovely qualities… like always showing up on time and prepared. 🙂
I know EXACTLY how you feel! When my man was in the Marines, he did the same exact thing to me all the time. He’d tell me last minute he was going to make the 16 hour drive home for the weekend and I’d panic! Of course I was excited to see him but in a long distance relationship you sort of learn how to carry on without that person physically there with you. I’m glad I wasn’t alone in feeling that! Enjoy your time with him 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Ashley! Dating a guy in the military has DEFINITELY been a learning experience.
I am only a spontaneous person if no harm will come may way. I’m not trying to spontaneously jump off cliffs or anything, but I really do prefer plans… I would be annoyed for a bit if someone spontaneously came to visit only because I usually have my days planned in advance (mostly), so I don’t think it’s crazy you were annoyed. You just needed to figure out what you had to change. Enjoy your time with the boy! 🙂
Oh, I’m definitely far from a spontaneous person! Ha! I have gotten a little better at “letting things go” though, thanks to my awesome laid back husband. You just focus on enjoying quality time with your love, and we’ll be here when you get back! 🙂 xoxo
Surprises are tough for everyone when you have a lot of responsibilities, even if they’re good surprises. Good for you for finding a way to take care of everything so that you can enjoy some time with your boy! Have a great week!!
Eeeee how exciting 🙂 ! If I was in a similar situation I know I would be freaked out in every possible way. Kudos to you for coping well. I’m working on being more spontaneous though and not to toot my own horn but I’ve done quite well this month! Have a fantabulous week with your man Amanda
Boy, can I relate. Whenever my schedule is thrown off I seize up with a feeling of panic. Usually, I am pleasantly surprised and end up enjoying the change but I still seem to react negatively initially.
This past summer I joined a comedy improv group. It has helped me in so many unforeseen ways! There is absolutely no way to prepare so I am forced to be spontaneous. It is great fun and the highlight of my week. Additionally, I have just the slightest tendency towards perfectionism (shocker, I know!) but I make a fool out of myself most every week and the world doesn’t grind to a halt. Most of all, improv lifts my spirits. Laughter really is the best medicine!
Have a wonderful time with J. I am so happy for you, enjoy your week!
Isn’t it crazy how petty things become when we look back at them? I can never understand my initial reaction when I’ve had some time to mull it over either. And that comedy improv group sounds like an awesome idea!
I sooooo understand this. Im SUCH a planned out person. Deviating from anything totally messes me up! Although, nothing ever this big had thrown me off my coarse! I kind of get that you need that time to “prepare” though. I mean, Im going to daddys tomorrow (who I haven’t seen in almost 6 months) and I am NERVOUS! He’s my daddy for crying out loud! But Im just nervous and anxious. Maybe its the time and distance thing I don’t know.
Either way, Im so glad that your man is surprising you!! 🙂
We are the same person. Even when I was prepared for Curt to come visit I was always so weird and almost irritated for the first day. It’s like I blamed him for changing up my routine which I depend on so much for my sanity…or so I thought. I’ve been trying not to do the same thing everyday (minus work grrr) and it’s made it easier for me to deviate from the plan. In fact Curt came in for a surprise visit last night! He had to put up with me not having showered after hot yoga (eventually I did) and panicking as my chocolate cake came out lopsided, but then I decided it was time to enjoy his company, but the rest of my life aside and be in the moment. So I have 200 blogs needing to be read in my bloglovin this morning, but I’m happy with my choices 🙂 Obviously started with yours! And no worries beauty, enjoy your man!
I get the same way!! It initially stresses me out then I realize I’m just being silly for letting that bother me! Happy for you and your time you will have together! Enjoy it!! xoxo
This is one I still have trouble with too, hun. I hate having plans change, even simple ones. On Monday, for instance, Joe deicded he wanted to leave before I did to get our turkey since it was at a store 20-30 min from our usual grocery store. He didn’t see any reason for both of us to go, so he told me to just meet him at the usual store in an hour. He decided this during breakfast though so my entire idea of the day was changed and while I didn’t freak our perse, I definitely challenged it and pouted when we did it his way. Why? What was the point ha? I have no idea. I know I’n better than I used to be, but I still have much to work on. Have an amazing week with your man, love! Treasure the time; it goes too fast!
It’s crazy, eh?! I always look back at my initial reaction and can’t help but wonder what the heck my deal was. It seemed like such a huge problem at the time, but looking back at it now, I honestly wish I had reacted better. Can I just blame hormones? 😆
That’s what i usually do…or say “crazy caitlin came out but she’s gone now, normal caitlin says she’s sorry for letting crazy caitlin out for a bit” 😉
Amanda, I’m definitely the same way. Though maybe I’m even worse… not one spontaneous bone in my body, haha. Hang in there and enjoy the time with J!
I have a little bit of that in me too! Certain things can throw me off completely. But like you, with a little bit of processing time, I’m back on track. Some people just need to run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off to get things done. No shame!
Have an amazing time with your man! Enjoy!
I understand where you are coming from, I can a total planner. But sometimes you got to just roll with the punches ! You’ll have a blast, enjoyyy your day!
Oh, girl, I am so happy that you get to spend a week with Jay and I am pretty sure that so will be you as soon as he is actually there. Sometimes we, who like to organize everything thoroughly, get so caught up in our list and plans, that we don’t even notice the excitement and joy behind a sudden change – it just throws us off the wagon and we desperately try to get it into kind of an order. But that is the nice thing about a significant other who is different. It challenges us to change our ways – mostly for the better.
Amanda, I can totally relate and understand how you were feeling and thought process. For people who like to be prepared, or planned, unexpected things definitely throw us a curveball. But I think what the most important thing about this is taking it as a learning experience. We cannot drastically change who we are but we can learn to feel more relaxed and accommodating by going through these things and realizing we CAN do it 🙂 have the BEST time and enjoy your time with the man xoxo
They would be my first thoughts too. I like to know where I am going to be when, and what is happening where. I can be spontaneous myself, but don’t like it when others are spontaneous around me!
Hope you have loads of fun together though! Make the most of it. 🙂
“I can be spontaneous myself, but don’t like it when others are spontaneous around me!” <-- I couldn't have said it better myself!
It happened, but you learned and now you can move on. Enjoy every single second you have w/ your man <3 <3
I seriously could have written this post. I am the EXACT same was as you are. I’ve had situations in the past where I should have been overjoyed by someone (usually my hubbie) doing something considerate or thoughtful for me and instead, my initial reaction is frustration because of it being ‘last minute’. I am definitely a planner and like to have “all my ducks in a row” and when something comes up that doesn’t allow me to prepare or plan ahead, I definitely react negatively at first. But, that being said, I have improved on this a lot! Just like you said, sometimes “life” just happens and we need to learn to just roll with the punches. Enjoy the surprises and realize it’s ok not to have everything planned out or put together. Sometimes life intervenes and (while it’s not easy and definitely at times not in our nature) we can learn to just loosen those reigns and let life happen. 🙂
P.S. I hope you have a marvelous time 😉
Aw, yayy!! I’m so excited he’s coming to visit you. I can relate to feeling irritated/anxious with spontaneous plans. I’m a planner too. Sometimes I feel like unless something is my idea, it’s a bad idea, but then I quickly get over it and go with the flow.
Have fun, you two! 😀
I am so glad time has helped you better accept this wonderful turn of events!
Life has always thrown unforseen things my way, and I have come to realize that I should just go with the punches. Sometimes, I am frustrated, irritated, panicked, angry even – but, experience has taught me that everything – yes, everything that happens results in something good! I might not always understand or see it in the midst of things, but down the road – it works out! ALWAYS!
I had a situation at work roughly 4 weeks ago, I had to accommodate my new circumstances and rearrange my life over those 4 weeks – having a daughter, it wasn’t just my life that changed! I was mad – oh so mad! After trying to reason with management failed, I thought of quitting, finding something else – but these circumstances brought me closer to my dream job – it helped me sub in schools as well as it forced me to use up some vacation – which, if I had not, my daughter and I might have been caught in this nasty storm that has engulfed the south east/eastern part of the US.
I am horrible at driving in the snow – so all I can think of is the Big Guy had my back! In everything there is a reason to give thanks 🙂
I know J coming to visit and your feelings of surprise are different to my situation – but, I cannot help but feel you will be so happy – in the next couple of hours when he gets off that plane! Hoping yall enjoy yalls time togther!
xxxs!
You’re absolutely right, Shashi! Things happen for a reason, and it’s usually a good one even if we can’t see it at the time. I love hearing that you’ve been experiencing some positive things in the work realm!
I can relate to this SO much. It is a challenge to be married to a Navy pilot for me. It challenges my “routine” . However, I learn a lot from him and grow. Have fun this week!!!!
Dating a military man has -definitely- been a learning experience. Thanks Jenn!
I can definitely relate…type A personality over here, which basically means I’m not spontaneous at all. Plans, organization and lists are what I’m most comfortable with, so I can totally understanding why you’d freak out. If my routine went over kilter unexpectedly, I’d freak out too! I’d want to be prepared – I’d want the house clean, I’d want to go grocery shopping and get other things in order.
On a good night though, at least you get to spend a week with your man! I’m sure once here arrives, you’ll forget about all that other stuff. Have a great time!
Cleaning, groceries, and prepping — pretty much sums up everything I’ve been doing for the last two days 😉
I can definitely understand relate to how you’re feeling. I am a big routine person and used to sticking to pretty much a set schedule, so when it changes, it is a big adjustment and requires a lot of flexibility. I hope you enjoy your time with him, thinking of you!