A good-for-you muffin that’s loaded with applesauce andΒ oatmeal, and sprinkled with a sweet and crunchy almond topping.
I have a recipe for you today. And if you’re wondering how a recipe ties in with NEDA week and my promise to talk more about my ED/recovery, just sit tight and I’ll tell ya.
I’ve always loved to bake. Always, always, always. I have so many fond childhood memories associated with baking… From whipping up countless batches of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies with my mom (my favourite), to successfully cracking my first egg (sans eggshell), to eventually coming up with my own recipes, baking has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
It relaxes me… being in a warm kitchen, carefully measuring out ingredients, enjoying the fruits (read: cookies, bars, muffins,Β breads) of my labour…
I think it’s safe to say that it’s easily one of my favourite things in the world. It’s also one of the things that became lost to me when my eating disorder hit.
Anyone who’s ever struggled with an ED, or even disordered eating habits, knows the fear that comes with eating something that has unknown calories in it. No nutritional label? No bueno. That and a fear of fats and sugars basically made all baked goods off-limits.
So I gave up baking… eventually.Β There was a period in my ED where I would bake indulgent desserts for my family and friends just so I could spend more time around food and indulge in the activity that I loved, but I had to stop because it became too hard to be surrounded by delicious food that I’d never actually allow myself to eat. It was basically torture…
But enough doom and gloom, let’s talk about the good stuff — let’s talk about how baking actually helped me in recovery. Remember how I mentioned that it was basically one of my favourite things in the world? Well, I missed it after a while… enough to face my fears and whip out the cookie sheets and muffin pans again. It sounds a little crazy saying it now, but no one ever said EDs made any sense.
In any case… I started off small and safe — making healthy substitutions, avoiding too much fat or sugar, and ending up with “treats” that weren’t really treats — but at least it was a start. It gave me a taste of what I’d been missing out on and sparked a craving for more. I slowly got bolder and my treats became sweeter (andΒ edible)… and it was my passion and love for baking that really helped me every step of the way.
Moral of the story? Start small and build strength — baby steps will still get you to where you want to be. Use your passions to drive you. Oh, and make these muffins… they’re delicious π
- 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
- 1 1/4 cup quick-cooking oats
- 1 tsp. baking powder
- 1/2 tsp. baking soda
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. ground cinnamon
- 1 large egg
- 1 cup unsweetened applesauce
- 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (or regular milk)
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 2 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted (or canola/vegetable oil)
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup raisins
- 2 Tbsp. quick-cooking oats
- 2 Tbsp. sliced/slivered almonds
- 1 Tbsp. brown sugar
- 1 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted (or butter)
- Preheat oven to 400Β°F. Lightly oil a muffin tray, or line it with 12 paper/silicone muffin liners.
- Prepare topping: In a small bowl, combine oats, almonds, and brown sugar. Add melted coconut oil and mix until well combined. Set aside.
- In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside. Beat egg in a medium mixing bowl. Whisk in applesauce, almond milk, brown sugar, coconut oil, and vanilla. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients, mixing lightly until just combined. Fold in raisins.
- Divide batter evenly among the 12 muffin cups. Using your fingers, sprinkle topping onto each muffin.
- Bake muffins for 18-20 minutes, or until top is firm to the touch and toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean. Allow muffins to cool in pan for ~10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
What’s one food that brings back good childhood memories?
What’s something that you’re passionate about?
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These look delicious! I think it’s great that baking was able to be a part of your recovery, especially when it’s been a life-long love of yours. I never liked cooking or baking when I was a kid, and even now I have to really be in the mood for it, so I envy your ability to just whip stuff up like this. When I was growing up, my mom would make mac ‘n cheese and put chicken and peas in it. It was so so good!
Oh my gosh delicious- your photos are making me so hungry!
Do you think I could substitute gluten-free flour or maybe almond flour for the whole wheat?
Thank you! π
Definitely! The oats are what make these muffins, so while the texture might end up a little bit different, they should still be fine π
Well you know we share the same passion. There is nothing in the world that makes me happier than an afternoon spent baking (or morning, or night). Stress baking definitely happens a lot and I’m not sure how much it helps the situation but while I’m baking I honestly forget about all the BS and afterwards I have yummy treats so it’s a start. Boy am I glad you’re baking again!
p.s. check out how quick I am at bloglovin this morning. Winning!
These look really good, and I have almost all the ingredients (I’ll sub for the coconut oil.. one day I’ll buy it!). Do you think the topping would be good without the almonds? I’m not a fan of them!
Yup! You might just have to add a couple more tablespoons of oats.
Baking definitely helped me in record too and helped lead me to be more flexible with eating non labeled foods. This recipe looks delicious. I usually use pumpkin as a recipe moistener but I’m looking to switch it up and I think applesauce would be perfect! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Oh my gosh, this so resonates with me. I have way too many memories of REFUSING to eat something, to even go near a food that I did not know the exact nutritional information for. The idea of going out to eat brought me to tears.
I also remember days in the summer where I would bake recipe after recipe just to occupy my time so I wouldn’t eat. Yep, I used food to make me not thing about food. Obviously I never allowed myself even a bite of whatever I made, and just passed them off to friends/family.
Waffles – those bring back some good times. My mom would make a ton at a time, and then I would pop them in the toaster for breakfasts whenever I wanted – with no regard for health/macros. It literally feels like a different life.
I was the same way with pancakes. I actually remember having pancake eating contests with my cousin when I was growing up, when we would see who could eat more. He would always win (damn guys), but I could pack away like 20 of them too π Good times.
I love to bake and find it therapeutic as well. In fact, while my marriage was crumbling and then throughout the divorce process, I turned to baking. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I think it started to pass the time, it started to have something to do with my son in the afternoons when he was maybe 3 and slowly it dawned on me that I was doing it to channel my thoughts elsewhere, keep busy and well, feel calm. Not to mention, I had some serious treats to enjoy each night after dinner.
I went through the exact same thing! I loved baking. But all of the sudden I couldn’t have the baked goods for myself. Part of my recovery process was not baking unless I was going to eat some of what I made. It helped TREMENDOUSLY. And now I’m a pastry chef and eat ALL the desserts. π
Baking makes me so happy as well! So glad you’re back to backing, these look great π
Oh girl, you know you had me at “muffins!”
Amanda – baking IS indeed relaxing and so extremely enjoyable for me too-definitely something I am passionate about! I enjoy it so much, I don’t even mind the dishes and pans and walls to clean up after! To a mom like me who is always trying to sneak in oats and healthy stuff into my daughters muffins/cupcakes – I love your use of oats in these muffins and I love how golden they are and that topping…scrumdiliumptious! π
Funny thing you mentioned “chocolate chip oatmeal cookies” – I baked a whole batch last night for my daughters soccer team and the Leftovers club!
A mom’s chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are basically the best thing there is π
Ah this is great–I’m glad you’re back to baking π I think being in the kitchen is a stress reliever for me as well and it’s just plain fun. And yes baby steps, always baby steps with everything in life I think.
Those look crazy moist! And I love the way you topped it off yummm
Now that you are mentioning this..I remember a time when I did love baking. I recall sitting on the kitchen counter on the eve of every birthday, helping Mum decorate the rainbow colored fairy cupcakes I wanted to take to school the next day. Every year I wanted those cupcakes, and they were always a hit. I suppose the reason I don’t enjoy baking now could be due to my hidden fears..and a part of me that panics when I realize that I’m head-over-heels in love with the end product. That is a great thing, but for my ED it’s less-than-pleasant. Thank goodness for your recipes which I cannot resist π
I can’t wait until I’m settled into my new place so I can go on a baking rampage! Did I tell you I made your protein granola bars last week? I froze ’em & intended to bring them to Kananaskis with me, but I keep eating them. π
π Welcome to the reason I ended up having to make 5 batches…
Love the idea of adding that crunch topping to these muffins. I bet that it totally makes the recipe. I truly don’t think you can go wrong with applesauce, either. Which reminds me… I have some chilling in my fridge! I can’t imagine how difficult it was for you to bake for friends and family and not be able to partake. It’s a mind battle. I’m so glad you were able to break free from that because now you can do what you love (oh, and we get to share in that, too!).
Wow! Since I’m terrible with anything that involves the oven (but I’m really good with the microwave and the blender, ok?), I would be glad if you send some of those to Brazil cause I’m craving them right now! hahaha
In exchange I can send you the best pineapple in the world that grows here π
I absolutely love that baking helped you overcome! That is such a special story. And these muffins look delicious!
Reading your memories of what baking was like during your ED reminds me of your first posts over at ‘seek’ when you mentioned attempting the first batch of cookies. It’s yet more proof of how far you’ve come. Proof in every baked good.
For me, not just baking but also reading everything I could get my hands on was and is a passion. Sadly, it’s one that got lost through my ED days, too, when I just couldn’t concentrate well enough anymore. I’m getting back into it and really enjoy being able to lie in bed and read without losing focus.
One dish that holds fond childhood memories for me is rice pudding. Even though my dad has a serious aversion towards it my mum knows how much I like it hence why she’d still prepare it when I asked often enough. The most special part was her method of cooking it ‘in bed’ meaning I’d come home to a perfectly cooked batch of rice pudding [‘Milchreis’ for us because the wording alone is what makes it even more comforting to me] after school. It’s been way too long since I last had it – also because it’d be just half as amazing if not prepared by my mum.
I lost my ability to enjoy books as well π I remember being in such a mental fog that I literally couldn’t read a few sentences without forgetting them. Horrible times that I’m happy to have left behind.
Oooh these look good. Definitely trying them soon!
I’m sure this doesn’t come as a surprise, but I absolutely love baking too! It has the same calming effect on me. Aside from exercise, baking is my second go-to stress reliever. I love baking for my family and watching them enjoy it. It makes me so happy! I think I get this from my dad – he’s the same exact way; although, he enjoys baking bread as opposed to making desserts!
As far of these muffins, they look wonderful as always! My must try Pinterest board is overflowing with recipes these days! Ha!
I love to bake as well! I rarely even eat most of the items I bake- I simply give them to friends or coworkers. I just like the act of being busy in the kitchen creating masterpieces that people love! These muffins look so yummy!
Love the almonds on top!! Anything with a crumble or crunchy topping is a win in my book! And I can’t so no to that π
These look great. It’s been a long time since I have made muffins. They are one of those comfort foods that I love but just never think about making. Plus I have been on a major apple kick lately so it looks like I have some work to do in the kitchen. Thanks for sharing!
Don’t be afraid of the baby steps!! Love it! I also find a fun, calm, and peace in the kitchen. It’s a place just for me to create, and it’s lovely!
These are right up my alley! (but so are ALL your recipes) Can’t wait to try them. I love baking too but sometimes it gets clouded by anxiety because I usually end up binge eating whatever comes out of the oven. I’m still learning to achieve that balance, and healthy recipes like this definitely help a lot!
I definitely struggled with finding that balance as well, and I think what helped me the most was TRULY removing the guilt and forbidden-ness that I associated with treats. When I finally realized that I could eat it whenever I wanted and stopped beating myself up over the fact that I ate more than I felt I should have, things just kind of settled down over time.
Our stories are so similar in some ways! I also LOVE to bake! But when I was at my worst I wouldn’t dare back anything for me! I would sometimes bake for family, but never would indulge in it. I MAY have licked the spoon, but would have berated myself for it! I have embraced my love for baking again and am proud to say I typically lick the spoon with no shame π
What you said surprised me actually – I love baking too and like you, gave it up when I was in the depths of anorexia but where you seem to be at ease with it now I’m still not! Nowadays when I bake I tend to binge on whatever it is I made. I’m not sure exactly why, maybe because even though I keep telling myself I can have said baked good, it’s difficult for my brain to be fully convinced I won’t get fat while eating it? I’ve come a very long way with my eating habits but baked goods (of every form) are the one item I still struggle with!
I went through a similar thing. It’s like the flood gates opened when I allowed myself to have a taste and I wanted to eat ALL the baked goods. It lasted for a while and caused me some serious grief, but when I finally stopped fighting it and truly came to terms with it, it eased up and now I’m fine eating one muffin or a couple of cookies without feeling like I need to eat the entire batch. It’s almost like our minds have a rebellious streak against even the smallest hint of restriction… I know the moment I tell myself I can’t have something, it suddenly becomes all I want.
There’s still hope then π I have to admit it’s really frustrating especially since I’ve made so much progress. Give me crisps, pizza, cheese, even sweets and I’ll be ok but baked goods? A whole other story! I guess the key is to keep trying knowing that eventually one day I’ll be ok with them!
What an easy and yummy recipe. Thanks for sharing!
Looks great! I love applesauce in muffins! And all of your muffin recipes that I’ve made I’ve really loved π
These muffins are adorable!!! I want to pick them up and cuddle them! Uhm. That wasn’t supposed to sound creepy. I’d really like to pick them up and eat them, but sans oats and flour. So, I think – for now – I’ll just cuddle them π
That recipe sounds amazing! I substitue applesauce in a lot of my baking so this one definitely appeals to me. Of course, I love that it’s skinny friendly too!
Lovely recipe! I just adore how applesauce makes baked goods taste SO incredibly sweet! Apple butter (no sugar added) is a mainstay in my fridge. We live near the mountains and can always get a jar of homemade mountain spiced plain apple butter. It’s the best thing I’ve ever had and so great in oatmeal and baked goods.
Baking was one way I healed my relationship with food. For years I feared food but baking actually made me love it, appreciate it, and learn to use it to nurture myself and those around me. Heck, I even love cooking for our dogs!:)
Thanks for the beautiful photos, recipe, and the inspiration!:)<3
I have a jar of apple butter in my fridge and I -almost- used it in these, but I really had no idea how to incorporate it since it’s a bit more sour than applesauce. Definitely going to have to try experimenting a bit…
When I had my ED, I baked ALL. THE. TIME. I never ate what I made- I was just smelling it and that was (somehow) enough for me. Crazysauce because there’s no way I can turn down a reese’s peanut butter cup cupcake now! Those muffins look soooooo good!
I will always remember baking my first batch of homemade brownies when I was five years old. Always. Needless to say, I have a passion for baking as well. It’s therapeutic, I swear. But as you said, one of the MAJOR red flags for me was when baking became a hassle for me during my ED. I would whip up and batch for things and CRY if I had too many pieces of dough (read: two) or I wouldn’t allow myself to even have a sliver of something. So, I stopped. And I believe one of the best ways to slowly overcome food “fears” is to slowly ease them back into your diet, too. I started with healthy “desserts” (read: cardboard), but (thankfully) graduated to full blown treats. Sure, you can make some healthy substitutions but fat and sugar are what makes a dessert… Well, a dessert!
<3
Were you guilty of topping your cardboard with nut butter too? ‘Cause that’s what I did all.the.time… and it was like… why not just put the extra calories INTO the baked goods instead of making them taste sub-par and then making up for it by topping them with things like AB and honey. So much logic…
Guilty as charged! It’s like you’re inside my brain π
Guilty as charged. It’s like you’re inside my brain or something π
Wow these look good and super easy. Thank you as always for sharing. Food that brings back childhood memories: pancakes, poptarts, lots of homemade breakfasts and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Applesauce muffins are one of my favorite varieties and I love your topping creation. I bet the almond crunch is perfect!
Gorgeous pictures! You are very talented my dear π
Amanda, I really appreciate reading more about your journey. I believe allowing ourselves to participate in activities that give us genuine pleasure is an essential part of recovery.
I grew up watching my mom cook. We very very rarely ate out so most everything was from scratch. When I was about four she bought me a cookbook, Kindergarten Cooks. That night I made my first recipe, bunny salads. (Half a pear atop a leaf of lettuce with raisin eyes,slivered almond ears, and a dollop of cottage cheese for the tail.) Funny, I hadn’t thought about that in years. Thanks for being the catalyst for a good memory!
There are three things about which I am passionate: literature, theatre, and yoga. Books have been a part of my life since the get-go. I was bit by the theatre bug at age eight when I saw a production of Annie. Yoga is a new one. Compulsive exercise was a major part of my eating disorder. Yoga is a way to move my body without being compulsive and punishing. Doing yoga makes me want to be strong and serene. It helps me appreciate my body for what it is capable of, not what it looks like. When I step off the mat I have the desire to properly fuel my body and for that I am grateful.
That bunny salad sounds like the sweetest thing, Sarah π And what you said about yoga is beautiful — that’s definitely how all healthy living should feel.
Mmmm I love applesauce, so these are definitely getting made. Joe and my brother always ask if you’ve come up with new recipes to try…your baked goods are beloved in our house π Eds don’t make sense is right ha. That made me laugh when I read it because it’s so true; the things I told myself when I was really struggling would make me cry if I heard them from someone else directed towards themselves…so why was it ok that I said them to me? No idea, but I’m very glad I’m where I am today. Running has been a huge role in that as has baking…you are one of the few “healthy bakers” I’ll bake from too actually. Too many times I substituted stuff or made it was too healthy, so now I’m usually about the real stuff π
I do love baking! I’m not as skilled at it as I would like to be, but maybe that just means I need more practice π Back in the ED, I was actually obsessed with baking…I’d make the sugariest, butter-filled recipes I could find for family gatherings just so I could live vicariously through the people ‘allowed’ to eat my food. Now I definitely make sure that I enjoy whatever I bake!
I think the post-ED baking is probably what killed my love for it for a little while…someone can only take so many 100% whole wheat flour, applesauce (no butter), and splenda muffins. I actually thought that I didn’t really like baked goods anymore…apparently, I just don’t like the inedible ones.
A dish that brings back childhood memories: sweet potato casserole with a pecan crumb topping. My aunt makes it and it was a staple at every dinner gathering on my mom’s side of the family.
I love these. I love the ingredient list and the cripsy, crunchy topping. I’m so glad you are back and baking again because the world would be a gloomier place without these muffins and your smiling face.
Growing up, I always made chocolate chip cookies, mainly just to eat the raw dough but usually a few cookies survived. It was always the recipe on the back of the bag of Tollhouse chips too.
My passion is promoting health and wellness and trying to get people to see that healthy doesn’t have to equal boring or bad. Veggies can be a whole lot of fun too.
I make my own applesauce and love including it in recipes. I cannot wait to try this one! Laffy Taffy and Bubble Yum reminds me of my childhood. We used to go to the store with $.25 and get to pick out whatever we wanted from the bins – it was such a treat.
I remember those as well π And getting a tiny bit of money to buy sweets was definitely one of the best parts of growing up.
Yummmmm, these muffins look to die for! π And I remember i used to get sooo anxious when there was food/baked goods around, especially if I was the one making all the stuff but couldn’t even taste test because one little bite meant 4310743289472 calories. This is such a great way to tie it into NEDA!
I said it in my last post, but baking is like therapy for me. I hope to keep progressing in my love for it by developing my own recipes one day too!
This recipe is just perfect for me right now, because I have an unopened jar of applesauce that I want to eat, but I also know that I want to bake with it. How did you know?? π
Very wonderful baking memories here too! For me, it was baking challah with my mama. We’d make the dough, let it rise, punch it down, rise again, carefully braid, bake, and mmmmm….
I’ve always, always, always wanted to try making challah! It looks so complicated, but one day I’m going to have to give it a go.
It’s actually not that complicated! There are a lot of steps but it’s not hard. Challah is the only bread I can bake that turns out really, really well! Try it!
The story behind your passion for baking is inspiring- I’m so glad it was a vehicle of positive impact in your recovery. Here’s to many many more crew toons to come from the kitchen of spoons.
I find it difficult to label something as passion- but id have to say blogging and even sticking around maybe shows some passion π
Ps send some over? I have quest bars and boiled eggs for breakfast because I’m lazy lol
Oh my goodness. These are pure perfection. I love applesauce. Seriously, I can down that stuff like it’s nobody’s business. I love muffins that are sweet, so this will be perfect.
You keep hitting all of these home runs girl!
So true what you said about EDs…no nutrition label, no way I’m putting it in my mouth. Why is it that we have such a strong need to control that we must know every, single, tiny think that goes past our lips. There were times when I wouldn’t even taste something my husband wanted me to try for fear that it would up my daily calories.
On a happier note…those muffins sound so good! Perfect to grab and go on a busy morning.
I’m so glad that getting back into baking helped you! I’m so with you… baking with substitutes isn’t near as good!
Omg I think I have everything (except the raisins) so I’m totally going to make these!!! YUM! Thanks for sharing another delicious recipe, Amanda!
Baking is truly an act of healing. Letting go of the unknown and trusting the process. I’m so glad you are back in the kitchen!
That crunchy almond topping looks perfect!
Wow Amanda – these look awesome! I know when I was in the worst disordered eating stage, I wouldn’t make anything that I couldn’t count calories for!
1. These look delicious
2. I can totally relate to not baking during my ED days… sad times
3.. But at least there was a happy ending for both of us!
A-freaking-men
You are such a strong woman. Good for you. Love these muffins, great idea adding the applesauce, will have to try that.
Well don’t these look delicious (Hi! I’m back!) I think it is wonderful how something that you feared has turned into such a positive for you. Calories suck.
So lovely to hear that your love for baking as a child, was also apart of your ED recovery. Smart of you to start small until you were built up enough strength/confidence to expand. I know I’ve told you this plenty of times, but you really are an exceptional lady, Amanda!
On another note – these muffins sound and look scrumptious! Have you ever used your homemade applesauce recipe in them?
I haven’t — I actually didn’t think of it until -after- I made em… so it looks like another batch is in order π
The story of baking an ED is incredible. It is funny as when I was a kid I loved baking, when I embarked on my journey of losing 100+ pounds I would also bake and give it away to friends and family but like for you it was torture. I’ve not 100% gone back to that baking passion as I think I still have the fear in me of baking again will bring back the weight I lost which sounds silly saying but it is how I feel.
The muffins truly look amazing and make me want to work on my photography skills but the story makes me want to try and reconnect with that love of baking without the fear.
It is so true; muffins are a “safe” treat for so many people. I’m just in for the carbs π These look amazing! That crumble makes them so pretty and I always enjoy that extra flavor and crunch.
I LOVE muffins with crumble but have never made any! I like that they have extra almonds in for healthy fats π I’m traveling the next few weeks so I won’t have time to eat them before they go bad (or my dad eats them all) but I have to try when I’m back!
Beautiful post (and of course, the muffins look delicious!). I completely relate to the fear of no nutrition label/ not knowing how many calories are in something. It really robbed us of a lot of joy and enjoyment, huh?
These would be so good for breakfast this weekend! This is my first time at your blog and I love the name and tagline!
Gorgeous pictures…as always! These look amazing, girlie…I love the crunchy topping!
I think I’ve just gotten to a point in my life where I can start baking again. I’m not skilled in the baking department as far as coming up with my own stuff (unless by some act of God, a miracle happens in my kitchen), but I used to love making treats for myself and others. It’s been YEARS since I’ve done that on a regular basis! I really need to get back at it…and I’ve got plenty of YOUR recipes pinned that I can chose from! π
I would love to make these but my son can only eat gluten free. Can I use almond flour and if so what if any, change do I need to make.
Thank you
Can I add sunflower seeds and Pumpkin seeds to this recipe? Thank you.
Of course! Those sound like they would make delicious add-ins π
Hi..
The recipe is lovely and pics are so tempting. Do u have recipe of homemade apple sauce as I am not sure if it’s available in Qatar.
Thanks.
I do have this one here — http://www.runningwithspoons.com/recipe-index/chunky-homemade-applesauce/ — but you might want to run it through a blender or food processor after making it so help give it a smoother consistency.
Is there any way to make this without the egg?
Thanks! π